I try to be good, I really do, but I have some deplorable food and kitchen habits.
Chicken wings are my kryptonite. I will eat them hot or cold, and yes, I eat the leftovers for breakfast.
Sometimes I’m not hungry for dinner because I eat the ingredients while I cook.
I feed the dog. Carrots mostly, I swear.
I complain with curse words about the dog being underfoot in the kitchen.
I never use all of the tomatoes I buy
My oven is always stashed with baking pans.
I will go to the bathroom so someone else can start the dishes while I’m ‘indisposed’— a trick I picked up from my kids.
I say I don’t want chips, but I do. If you leave the bag in the kitchen Michael, don’t get mad when it’s empty.
The time between arriving home from work and making dinner is all a graze most days. I munch on nuts and crackers, leftover chicken wings, veggies, and random bits of chocolate. It’s a horrible habit that is probably the reason I am perpetually 10lbs overweight.
I try so hard to be good and avoid the grazing, but then some tasty genius at Pepperidge Farms comes up with crazy goldfish crack like Elf Maple Syrup Graham Snacks, and I’m powerless.
I bought them for Christmas. I was going to add them to the festive bits and bites, but they never got there. I should have never opened the bag tonight. Small sweet things do me in every time. Now I’m eating them. Just me, because everyone else is turning up their nose. I don’t know how I raised humans opposed to junk food.
I won’t eat the whole bag at one time, but I’m already wondering where I’m going to find more when this bag is gone. Christmas is such a long way off.
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